Question: Are you going to write another book?
I’m so honored many of you have asked this question. I never wanted to write the first book! (Ha!) It was truly an act of obedience.
First and foremost, I didn’t ever want my life to contain enough subject matter to write a book. Had it been my way—if I were ever asked—Steven and I, at the right time, would have written a book together on parenting, marriage, and so forth. Not that we have all the answers, but that would have been the “natural” ask and progression of our life. (And truly, that would have been the book on “What Not to Do While Trying to Raise Children.”)
Instead, the tragic events of May 21, 2008, happened, and an opportunity presented itself for me to tell the story. Not the story I wanted to tell, nor was it the story I was going to write.
When I was approached about writing what eventually became “Choosing to SEE,” the immediate answer was: No. We had been grieving the loss of Maria very publicly. (It was a choice that our son Will gave the nod “yes” to because he so desperately wanted people to see what grieving with hope was all about.) And, honestly, I was tired—tired of trying to grieve it right, trying to be honest yet hopeful. However, through many twists and turns and a lot of praying, this book began to be more than an idea. The thoughts in all of my journal entries and blogging during that time began to challenge me. The challenge was not only to tell the story of Maria but to tell the story of me, my life.
I sat down with my children and asked them about this idea of writing a book. Again, not that I was excited about it, but I was feeling nudged ... It may be helpful for some to hear the story of a very broken me. My entire family, except for one little person named Shaoey, was in favor of me working with my amazing friend Ellen Vaughn on crafting and outlining the redemption story God was writing through my life, including the excruciating loss of our youngest daughter, Maria. Shaoey didn’t want me gone, Shaoey didn’t want me sad anymore, Shaoey didn’t want to share me more than she had to. So I made a promise. I promised that until she grew up, I would never write another book. And I have kept that promise, though I’ve been asked over and over again to write another. I just kept saying, “No, because of a promise I made to a very hurt, disillusioned girl.”
But wait … there’s good news! I blinked, and that little girl is all grown up and a senior in college! (Graduating in three years with a double major in Psychology and Anthropology with a minor in Social Innovation in Leadership. Wait … what? Who does that? I can’t wait to SEE where life takes her next.)
OK, back on track. With Shaoey all grown up and getting ready to take on life, I’m officially released from the promise and can write again … if I even want to. Just being honest, as you know I am, I think if I write again, I’ll have a trusty sidekick named Steven by my side. We’ve kicked around all of the “Ws” … What would we write, when would we write, and why would we write a book? It’s important to us that there be a nudging or feeling we are supposed to—that it would help someone else to share whatever we felt led to write.
So, yes, there have been lots of ideas posed to us and circling around in our heads. A marriage book? A parenting book? A couple’s devotional book? A cookbook? A grandparenting book? A “How to Clean Out Your Garage Book?” (Thanks, COVID!) While there are certainly many thoughts, we just haven’t felt the go-ahead yet. However, I can tell you: At some point, there will be another.
With Hope,
Mary Beth
P.S. If you need another book for families who have lost loved ones, I highly recommend “A Grace Disguised” by Jerry Sittser. It was tremendously helpful to me and my family.