This month, guys, I am diving into several questions. Know that I am very thankful for each of you and appreciate the questions. Keep ‘em coming!
Favorite Bible Verse and Why?
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. — Psalm 4:8, ESV
I have so many favorite verses, but as evening is approaching and night settles in, I thought of this very peace-filled declaration David proclaimed while probably hiding in a cave. Yet all of these words are true today. In the middle of unsettled times, in the middle of a pandemic, Jesus meets us with living words of safety and peace and settledness. This verse doesn’t promise all will go well; it just simply says Jesus ultimately is our safety.
What is your favorite Bible study?
“Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. Long story but God met me during it, and it left a mark on my life that led to much freedom.
What advice do you give young couples starting marriage?
This is a question I am often asked. The answer I give? Are you ready for it? OK … here it goes. *Sleep naked*. (That’s my whispering font by the way.) You asked.
Are we going to hear more from Quarantina?
Easier said than done, friends. But I will never say never. I’ll ask Quarantony if he can help me with another song or two.
Who's your favorite daughter that's 4 feet 8 inches tall?
Thank you, Stevey Joy, for sending in that question. At 4 feet 8 inches, you truly are my tiny power-packed senior who is going to change the world with her tininess!
Favorite song on Colony House’s “Leave What's Lost Behind?”
First off, let me say, Colony House fans, they are the best, and I love that you love my boys! THANK YOU! “Leave What’s Lost Behind” is a record the world deserves to hear. I am praying in due time—the right time—that will happen! The whole project is really just so, so good. Hard to pick a favorite, but I’m going with “Why Even Try.” What a song! The way it turns and makes you just want to sing and scream at the top of your lungs? Are you kidding me? I implore everyone reading: Give this record a listen. Start at the beginning, and take a ride with the Colony House boys because that’s what this record does. And talk about pointing people to the light. It’s such a special project. Thank you for asking, and thank you, Colony House fans, for loving my boys! Visit www.colonyhousemusic.com and HERE to listen to the record.
What are some special mother-daughter activities you like to do now that your girls are older? I have four daughters, ages 20 to 13, and would love some ideas.
This is a great question—and one I am still working on! I love that my girls now range from almost 18 to 34. Can you believe that? (Y'all, I’m getting old!) I’m still working on trying to perfect the gift of time, though. Shaoey and Stevey Joy love to get pedicures. This has proven to be awesome. You sit in one place, and the conversations can get quite deep because you’re relaxed and have time! I’ve done that with my older girls (daughters-in-law included), and it is always a great time together. We don’t go often, but when we do, it is time well spent.
We also all live really close to one another, so a lot of time is spent together at our home! We love hanging, preparing meals, and just being together. The other night, for instance, we had a cookout, and it ended in a hilariously huge dance party. (And trust me, we would not be winning any dance competitions.) Sometimes, time spent with the older kids is also while we are watching one of the younger kids cheer or take part in a school event. Sometimes, our time together is also doing something with the grandchildren. We have all ages in our big, beautiful family, and we love being together.
As far as being intentional to plan something specific, it is something I am still working on and won’t get tired of trying—because movement and getting better at something is good, right?
What is your advice on how to maintain the quality of the relationship you've built over many years with your sons yet allow them to be the adult men they are?
This is a beautifully complex question. Let me start by saying, I love my boys! They are beautiful boys who have turned into beautiful men, husbands, and fathers! They have strong commitments to Jesus, period. And because of that, they are free to be the adult men they are. I don’t have to allow them to be anything other than who God gifted them to be. I don’t have to worry or stress. I know their characters. I know their hearts. I see the husbands they are, the fathers they’ve become, and the friends they commit to be. I hear the music they write, the message they ultimately want to send, and the change they want to be in a dark world.
While there is plenty that drives me crazy—because that’s what boys do… drive moms crazy—ultimately, these are petty things that do not matter. And besides, they both have wives now who manage them quite well! LOL
My boys were raised by the greatest father on the planet. He never tired of “raising” them. He was (and still is) always available, even from the road, and he has impacted their lives and modeled what it means to show up and do life with integrity. However, they are not my husband, and with that, the world got two pretty good “chips” off the proverbial block. I just wish you could spend 10 minutes with them; it would do your soul good—they are that kind. Can you tell I am kind of partial?
How’s your new puppy?!
Boone is great! I have to confess, he was a COVID addition to the Chapman family, and so he has been spoiled—not so much by me but by a certain young lady named Stevey Joy! He’s now a precious puppy who sits at the door when she leaves and pretty much waits for her to come home. Seriously, though, he is good. He is smart, gentle, loyal, and almost potty trained (thank God!). And he’s hypoallergenic! I have not smelled him or found a single hair! That is certainly a plus. And he has learned all kinds of tricks, and so, I guess we’re keeping the little guy!
Can you provide some tips for effective ways to teach your children to pray/study God’s word and memorize scripture? How and at what age did you guys start this in the Chapman home?
Praying and scripture-reading have been part of us since we’ve been married. And, of course, there have been seasons where it seemed more dialed in than others. Honestly, though, I don’t know the most effective ways to teach your children to pray and memorize scripture. I started and stopped and tried “systems” of teaching the children scripture a bunch of times. And some worked better than others.
Like a lot of families, when the children were little, we owned all the music that taught scripture through song. The kids also learned the scripture alphabet, and we prayed with our children every day, hoping to lead by example. But just like so many, we do that, and we do it really well… for a while. Then, we forget and get busy. So then, we do it again, and try a few different things, and then that, eventually, fades as well.
However, the one thing that has remained constant—and I credit my husband for this—Steven has always tried to get us together to pray and read a passage of scripture before bedtime, whether he was at home or on the road. Far too often, we can get stuck in the doing, and the how-to, and the “we must,” that we miss the “we get to” part of teaching our children good habits. Steven always viewed it as “we get to” teach and model this.
All of that to say, we don’t have the magic how-to pill, but we do have a desire to SEE our children learn by example and love Jesus. Steven has been the kind of leader in our home to encourage all of us to know Jesus more intimately by really getting to know Him, modeling that day in and out with consistency and as a matter of importance.
And so, my prayer, as I close is simple, that we would lay down the trappings of doing things in a perfect manner and with a feeling of dread that we “have to do this” or “get this done,” and instead celebrate the fact that “we get to” do certain things with our children and hide the promise God gives in our hearts. The truth is, if we teach our children about Jesus, it will not return void. We have seen that play out in our grown children’s lives. They hid away Jesus’s truths in their own hearts by being led by their father, and I am so thankful all of my children know Jesus.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer, please submit it to me via email at hello@marybethchapman.com